if you forever cant figure what is right and what is wrong.
if you forever cant make a decision firmly/correctly
you will forever lost to yourself.
your misery will never go off.

i dunno why i suddenly say this. i was thinking about sumthing of the past. i hope you know that you are the one i am refering to. i not giving any clue and so yea.


i swear i love you
but fate alway play us out.
my surprises for you never seem to work
but oh darling
i really do love you.

i choosed my courses ! but i have not applied for it. will apply later on bahs.


qi shi ye bu dong wei she mo
i dunno where to go.
my future road seem so blurred la !

last night i talk to sharyl kua kua
and she told me to grow up !
hahaah!
and i told her a serious problem tat i am facing.
but we both think it rather stupid !
and she is glad that i know it stupid !



and i went to ton over at xiu qi chalet for one day.
xudi is really good at styling hair.
had fun and laughter there.
=D

yesterday i get back my o lvl results.
it was horrible.
ok. let me tell you all my grades.
English C5
E math A1
A math B3
Combine human( history) B3
Chinese B3
Chemistry C6
Physic C6


teachers think that getting a B3 for combine human is quite a wonderful archievement. i wonder why.

now i am having problem thinking which course to go. cos the course i wanna go. i cant get in T_T.

and
sorry.
to the erhu sec 3s : i have been a disappointment. i know i said that i would get 3 distinction for u all. sorry =(

To Mr Low : i dun think u will ever see this. but i got a B3 for a math yea? i was quite happy with it. but thinking that we almost spend everyday together during the two weeks before o lvl. sorry for not getting e distinction that we once said it was possible.

To Mr Ng : i oso dun think u will ever see this. but ya la ya la i get my only distinction from you la. you shld be proud of this. and thank you for everything =D

To Mr Wong : i really think i did better in the second retake lehs! sumpa! but dunno why still B3=( sorry~

sicked of crying,
tried of slashing,
yet i'm smiling,
but inside me,
I'M DYING.

even if my leg fail me.
i would persuilt my dream.nobody is stopping me.
hais);

yesterday went over to bugis with kenneth.
he's on a spree.
which make me feel like going on a spree too.
now i wanna buy. two shirts. and one skinny
argh
but no money=(

i am upset. i really am.
i really dunno what to do
i really dunno

today went to hospital for check up and physio. awww was damn bored thereD=

went over to simei to meet gladys and went over to thiong bahru and dohby ghout.
ate lunch at thiong bahru. jap ramen.waha
movie was uber boring!. almost fall aslp.
went to walk walk at plaza sing
brought quite a few stuff for her.
i think i today spend exceeded 100 dollars.
waha
nvm.

overall. i shld be quite happy i think. but a bit shaggedD=

wahaha. yesterday went over to school again!

to meet up with the sec 3s erhu peeps and wen bin.

hahhaas. it was supposely to be a erhu outing that celebrate four people birthday!

went to sakae to eat buffet.

i realise my juniors is all going to end up as fat as me. cos they eat alot oso !.LOL

i spend a lot! but i was really happy ! cos there was fun laughter and everybody is so happy together =)

and we took a super duber squeezy neoprint !!!

i suddenly had a urge to summarise about 2007 ! found out that there is quite a lot of things to say! and several stuff i regretted oso!

first day of 2007 at 12+. i was at orchard ! cineleisure watching fireworks with my gal and her frenz at that point of time to watch death note 2.

27 jan 07. went to ECP to ton. celebrated xiu qi and hup song birthday. Caught smoking at there-.-

quited smoking on 30th jan!


14th feb! spend my valentine with my gf at that point of time. had a great dinner at jack's place=D


march was full of CO practices for syf ! and i take in my beloved tudi. sally !

apirl. CO won GWH=D
080407. broke up with my gf D=


May. failed my first math paper 2 by half marks in my whole upper sec life.


june. had study camp in the school. a month that feel like dying =( and a month that i am so fuck up knowing things.


july. LESSONS after school EVERYDAY. and was feeling more fuck up by each day.

august. celebrated four days of my birthday. but i was damn upset during my birthday i rmb, thank to the two gals that came over in the night n gave me e cake=D i ate it !.haha.


Sept. I BROKE MY BLOODLY LEG.

Oct. first time buy flowers for ppl
O level started !

Nov. O level finish!
going to gal shop looking for gal clothes -.-
celebrated sj birthday.
had my first operation in my whole life.it was god damn scary la-..-

DEC. heard e most shaggiest words from someone i dun expected. but when i now think of it. i feel like saying. hey. i think i e ke lian one ?
spend my xmas eve drinking in a pub.cos nobody wanna pei me D=



i think my 2007 life is quite upset one if u read e above post!
but i think it quite exciting oso. i think i forget to include a lot of activities that me n my friends tried to do or do already.

for those that had hurt me in the past. thank for e hurt. it make my grow. but still e memories of it hurts.

for those that had been there for me in the past. i dunno wad to say! thank you? HAHA

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?

Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart ...if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you ?

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle ?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

i am so god damn tired that i can just sleep at my work place without any pillow or bed.
just give me a place to lay down
a place whr none of the aunties and the boss can see me.
and i will just sleep almost at instant.
and guess wad
I FOUND IT.


work had been pretty funny during breaks, where karaok aunty alway make me laugh !
nowaday.in my everyday life. i think onli the break during work. i can smile. sound kinda sad.but it ok.

actually i find it quite retard.
when it monday.i say omg how mani more days to weekend then i can rest sia !?
when it sat.i say. wahs cannot work. nobody pei. how to pass time sia?!


and my temper had been getting seriously bad nowadays-__-


but hey babe.
i really love it when u care.



but elllllllllllllosss
she dont.

AND I WENT TO DRINK AGAIN.







haish...

happiness i never had before.
i thought i understood. i really thought i understood.
how wrong i was.
what a stupid idea i was thinking.
how could i planned it all out.
and how had things turn out to be so wrong.

there are alway things that i wanna share
just that u choose not to hear it.

i dunno why things are likedat.
ok. forget it. not that i could get any answer.
not when u choose to run away.


当世界遗忘我的时候
我一个人过
幸福对我来说其实是一种传说
当敌人越来越多
朋友都离开我
当爱情变成一种负担却无法解脱

你所竖起的围墙太过坚固
我就像小兵班曾强烈侵入
我们曾经一见如故，但如今各有各的付出。

两个人一辈子不分离
你问我好在哪里
不是你不期待永恒的恋曲
或许
不是你不喜欢甜言和蜜语
只是你比较实际
爱难平
情难灭
梦难了
心难过
你却放手
离开我你说是为了我好 可知道这句话伤人不少 就算忘不了

i once rmb a song that say abt

when the wind blow. the sand will follow
you are the wind and i am the sand.
but came to thinking.
when u add them together
u get sandstorm
sort of a disaster right.
maybe that what you are thinking.



sigh
anyway ytd was 2007 and today is 2008 and tomorrow is a working day
new year eve. didnt remember doing anything much.o yeah. firework is sumthing...
and today i am staying at home doing nothing so that is nothing to rmb abt !
but i dun think tml will be a better day either.



perhap people dont know that
dont know that i dun wanna my life to be like this
hello ! do u think i love to be suffering like this??!~
ren xin nan ce



so wad now !
WAD E EXPECTATION AGAIN