Saturday, November 26, 2011

I don't really blog. and most of the time now that i type something here is because in the future when i want to look back at my life. its will spark off the memories that i ever had or to wish the particular somebody that i blog about will read it as i wont have the courage to say it out to her face to face but for today instances, i don't think she will ever read it but that how things is suppose to be i guess.

Most of my friends would know i love to drink, drink till liver got problem still continue drinking. like a some kind of addiction but to me , most of the time its just about going to some place to chill and relax after a week of chaotic life. and yea. the place that i always drink is thai disco. And many wonders why. I don't have much reason of why i prefer thai disco than other pub or club.

And No, I do not fuck around with the thai girls i met in thai disco, i not trying to act decent over here but that's the fact. I do drink with them, i do merry around with them, i do play with them. Thai girls that i had met and hang out outside the disco is only a handful. Going out to eat or shop around with them, i don't really do that unless i really treat them as friend that why i said its only a handful as i don't really easy trust people or make friend easily. And for spending near to three years at different thai disco, i met this very special thai girl. I believe for now and ever, she will always remain that special to me no matter how fuck up things will end up as.

Her name is Nay, and how i first met her is just like yesterday, i still could remember clearly what happened, the conversation we held and i remember telling my friend how gei yan this girl is. And that what really attract me toward her. She isn't the prettiest thai girl i ever met or the hottest thai girl. She is just some average skinny thai girl but with a very interesting character. she could speak fairly well english i guess that's how helped us to be able to communicate. I remember how often i speak about her to my friends after the first time i met her and i was determined to get to know her better. It was the first time i was so excited over a thai girl.

I went back to Pure as often as i could, at least once a week up to thrice a week. and we start hanging out outside disco. I remember how much she liked Mr bean soya bean set E with a chocolate pancake. I remember how amazed i was that she is able to dance so well with such a high heels. And how she nagged about wanting to play the fish game in arcade. And not forgetting the local delights that she loves to have, chicken rice, hokkien mee etc.

Even she went back to thailand, we keep in contact thru whatapps and phone call which literally landed me in deep shit, my mum was shouting at me every month due to the exploded phone bill result from calling to Thailand.

Things turned soured. I do not know the reason. I choose to believe its not that she is fuck up. I understand that 99% of my friends had told me that i must had been mad to trust and fall in love with a Thai girl. I am in the army. I do not have the time for her. I do not have the money power. I not a guy with much free night time due to my mum. All factors make it clear, we won't be able to make it but i was bent on trying when she came back to Singapore.

Fuck up things happened one after another, yes seriously. sometime i think my friends is right. i really do not know what the fuck she is thinking! I remember how i go down to Pure with my army friends to support her on friday night but she couldnt seem to care much to have a proper conversation or even hang around at my table. I was kinda drunk that day, i do not know if she asked me to wait for her after her work or ask me to go home but i waited. I went off after hearing from her friend that she had meeting but yet my friend saw them at V4 afterward, claiming that she just arrived there cos she was upset about me. upset over what people said about me in Pure in these month that she was at thailand. I was pissed, so disappointed but when i hear her shout over the fone like crying, i was at a lost. i really do not know wtf happen. I went down again last night, wanting to talk things out but yet you said nothing happen, you dont wanna talk about it or think about it? like what seriously, just keep things hanging down there? After the whole of last night, after closing, after you finished work. yes i felt it. you dont really care anymore. and yes there is nothing more i could do or rather there is nothing more i wanna do. There is so many things you choose not to tell me.

it had been rather tiring yet happy yet confusing four months+ We had never been officially together but i remember the period that we are utterly sweet to each other. Yes, all these time we knew each other, i know there is a chance that everything is fake but i will rather not know it. I know there is a slight chance that everything might be true. but now. i no longer want bet on it. I am really afraid of knowing the truth that why i decided to take your path. let's just left thing hanging down there half way. Last night is most likely the last time I will go down to Pure. and perhaps i will stop going thai disco. Thai disco is never the same to me ever again.

Next Sunday will be your birthday. I guess i wont be going down to find you and you prolly think i am such an asshole for that. But happy birthday in advance(':
Chan ruk ter
mai kid mak ok mai
chan kid theung mak mak
Khun yaak sabai dee ok mai
I never regretted(':

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

I had been enlisted into army for one month ! since 11/10/11
these two days is my leave after my BMT.
gonna head over to clementi camp for two weeks plus of vocational training as security trooper !

army is really wasting life and making us poor.sigh~


and a brighter side of life
nay is back:D